The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers

     Today I walked into my english 2010 class and the song ,"The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers" was playing. I hadn't heard that song in such a long time. It made me laugh at first but as I walked home I kept thinking about it. What made Tigger so wonderful? Why was he so unique? What makes me wonderful? Why am I special? Am I unique?
       Each one of us is a child of God and we, like Tigger, are wonderful and unique. I know that I am a daughter of God. I am special. There is no one else in the world like me. No one, no matter how hard they try, can imitate me exactly because I am special, I am unique in my own way.
      The past few months and weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I have been frustrated with feeling like I could never meet the bar, I could never fulfill everyone's expectations of me. As I look back I realize how much the knowledge that I was a daughter of God helped me through these moments. I have felt very alone, but the knowledge that I have a father in Heaven who is there for me, even in those moments when I feel far from him, has helped me endure my trials. It has led me to become patient with myself and try to be patient with those around me.
     I believe that at one moment or another in our lives we all feel like we have fallen short. That we have become worthless. We feel as though we have become insignificant, we have fallen and been trodden on by the feet of those we know and even love. I am here to testify that we are not insignificant. We can have hope and realize our Godly potential if we but come to rely upon the testimony that we can gain of our infinite worth of children of God. In those moments when you feel you cannot take one more step, you cannot fulfill one more duty or accomplish one more task, if you look up and remember where you came from you will receive the courage and strength to make it one more day.
    I promise that there is nothing that we have done that is to great for the atonement of Jesus Christ not to heal. There is nothing we can do that will change the fact that our Heavenly Father loves us. If we repent of our shortcomings we will become the glorious sons and daughters that our Heavenly Father knows we can be. He sees us as an infinite being with infinite potential. We matter to him. We matter to our Savior, and through his atonement, we may be made whole from anything we feel is holding us back. Through our Savior we can do the impossible.
    I know that no matter what trials we face today, or tomorrow, we can make it through. We can endure and we can do it with a smile on our faces. We can be reminded of our divine potential and worth. We like Tigger are wonderful and unique. Each one of us has something that defines us, something that no one else has. Be proud of your differences, your talents, and your worth as a child of God. I know that my God will help me and knows who I am. He knows my weaknesses and my strengths. I know my savior will carry my through as he will for you. Celebrate your worth everyday. Don't forget who you Father is and who that makes you.

He'll Carry you

The past few weeks I have been faced with many decisions to make, many feelings of uncertainty. What I thought I knew to be true I found myself doubting. I felt a very strong fear as I wondered if I had been blind to my Heavenly Father's path for me. A few nights ago I finally listened to the voice inside my heart telling me to simply get down on my knees. I prayed, for quite a while and talked to my Heavenly Father. I told him my concerns and my fears and then I simply listened while my spirit was taught one of the most amazings lessons I have ever learned in my life. The spirit testified to me of the power of Satan. I realized how real Satan is and how hard he will try to ruin the things in your life that are good. I reflected back and realized how Satan had twisted my very true feelings to try to make them into something that they weren't. I realized that Heavenly Father has a plan. I have always been taught throughout my life that Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us, but as I knelt down that night I realized how true that principle is. Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. A plan that is very sacred and personal. Sometimes we may believe that our plan is better than his, but I have realized that however great my plan seems right now, his plan will be thousands of times greater for me in the eternities and that is what truly matters. I know that if I follow God's commandments that I will be lead and that I can become an instrument in the Lord's Hands. I know that when we are discouraged and when we have those moments when Satan enters into our hearts there is one thing that can calm our troubled waters and still the storm raging within our souls, and that is our Heavenly Father and our Savior. Our Heavenly Father is the one person that can guide us on the true path we must take and our Savior is the one who is there to walk right beside us. Christ has suffered all things that we must be called to endure. I know that he atoned for me, for my doubts and my fears. I know because he lived the plan first that I know have a loving example to follow, and through him I can be made whole and return to my Father in Heaven. I know that if we follow his commandments and be willing to do all that our Heavenly Father asks of us we will find pure happiness in joy in this life and forever. We are living our imortality to we must follow his plan here and now for the decisions we make today determine the life we will live tomorrow and in the thousands of years to follow. I know our Savior is there to lift us up and carry us when we doubt, he is our solace and our peace, he is my brother and my savior and the one person I know I can trust with my whole heart. Simply have Faith that he knows what is best and he will carry you.

A Time for Courage

I have been very humbled and blessed the past week. A couple weeks ago I was able to spend a wonderful spring break with my boyfriend Todd. It was such an amazing week filled with the spirit. We were able to attend the Salt Lake temple together, hike, and feel the spirit so strongly. It was such a blessing in my life to grow closer together as well as to grow closer to my Heavenly Father and the Spirit. I came back to Logan to start school the following and it seemed as though I was hit with a wall of adversity. I had just had one of the most amazing weeks of my life and I felt like I was then faced with a mountain to climb and no means to do it. I spoke with my Mom on the phone and was greatly comforted by her words. I had a lonely Sunday night but tried to find refuge in my scriptures and the spirit. Sometimes it seems so easy to feel the spirit, especially when Todd is around but sometimes on my own I feel so lonely and seem to have a harder time recognizing the Spirit even though I know it is there. I started school the next day and it seemed to go okay but throughout the day I started having major problems with my foot and my ankle. I felt as though I was falling and I couldn't rise back up. I was scared, scared because of my previous medical problems, scared to be on my own once again. I prayed to Heavenly Father and the words of Joseph Smith rang true in my heart, "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavillion that covereth thy hiding place? How lolng shall thy hand be stayed.." As soon as those words entered into my mind the Lord's reply calmed my heart.  "My Son, peace be unto thy soul thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment". I know that Heavenly Father heard my prayers and answered them. He guided me and led me to peace. Throughout the rest of this week my thoughts have turned toward him. I have had days that have not been easy, I have been faced with affliction but through my Savior and my Heavenly Father I have been strengthened and blessed with the courage to face my afflictions head on standing together with my Savior. I know that we all have trials in our life, but we must remember all the wonderful things in this world and face the not so good days with the courage to look up toward a brighter one. I know that we have afflictions to guide us and strengthen us but I also have a knowledge that afflictions are also there so that when the good times come they are all the more sweet. I am so blessed to have a family that loves me and watches over me, a loving Savior and Heavenly Father that do everything in their power to help me succeed as well as a wonderful man here on this Earth that strengthens me through his example. Let us not fear the unknown, let us go forth with a bright shining hope, relying on those around us and our savior and face our blattles with the courage to prevail. Arise and shine for this is a time for courage.

An Elect Lady

Many children grow up haveing hero's in their life, some like Superman and others like Spiderman but for me the one person I have always admired and considered as a hero is Emma Hale Smith. She is a woman of faith, and elect lady, and a person that I continually hope to be like. Emma withstood so many trials and hardships through out her life. It is said of Emma,“I have never seen a woman in my life, who would endure every species of fatigue and hardship, from month to month, and from year to year, with that unflinching courage, zeal, and patience, which she has ever done; for I know that which she has had to endure—she has been tossed upon the ocean of uncertainty—she has breasted the storms of persecution, and buffeted the rage of men and devils, which would have borne down almost any other woman.” I know that Emma truly knew what was right in her heart, if she did not she could not have endured with the patience and faith that she had. I have often spent hours pondering upon her life desiring to understand her and her faith. Lately I felt as though I too have been tossed upon the ocean of uncertainty. It has been an interesting time in my life, one of great change and great learning. I have found that often times those around you do not understand your feelings and the motivations behind your actions. They do not understand, not because they are bad people, but because they simply are not in your place. Never in my life have I felt the spirit so strongly confirm my actions while the world and those around me discourage them. I know what the spirit of the Lord has told me and I know without a doubt that no matter the opinions of those around you, the only opinion that matters is the Lord's. I have learned that sometimes you know things with your heart that you don't know with your head.
    I imagine that Emma often found her self doing things that the world would see as "stupid" or "impracticle", but I believe that she found strength through her God and through the love of her life, Joseph. I know that Emma endured trials beyond the extent that any other woman should have been able to endure. I know that she knew her place in the kingdom of God and did all in her power to follow the Lord's plan. Thanks to Emma's example and the gospel in my life I too know that the spirit speaks to our hearts. I know that the Lord knows me and has a great plan for me. I know that everyday in my life I have the choice to feel the spirit and be guided to become an instrument in the Hands of God. I know this gospel is true and I cannot express my gratitude for Emma and her life and the strength it gives me to continue day by day. I am immensly grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice that allows me to one day return to my Father in Heaven. I know that the day I will cross the veil to the otherside I will see my Savior, my family, and Emma and Joseph. I know one day I will be able to thank her in person for the blessing and example that she has been in my life. She truly is an Elect Lady.

The Desires of My Heart

Tonight I write with a very full heart and a gratitude to my God. Today has changed who I am. Today I woke up and did not want to get out of bed and go to church but I knew that I should. I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for my church meetings. I arrived to sacrament meeting feeling disheartened at the 3 long hours I faced until I could return home to the comfort of my warm bed but the warmth I received in that chapel was more comforting than the warmth that any blanket could offer. I sat in silence as the sacrament was being passed wondering what I was doing there. I felt torn inside, I felt as though my spirit and my body were at war with each other. I knew I was suppose to be in that chapel but the defiant side of me sat and told me that I could be doing other things. I prayed to my Father in Heaven and asked for guidance. I sat with a pen in hand and just began to write. The words that were penned in that holy place have changed my outlook on who I am and what I desire in this life and beyond. Today in the quiet, hallowed walls of a chapel I was reminded of my sacred mission on this earth, what I desire and who my Father in Heaven wants me to be. These sacred words are my hopes and my dreams... The desires of my heart.

I desire that I might always be able to know what my Heavenly Father's willis for me and then be blessed with the faith and courage to follow that path and become an instrument in His hands. I desire to continually be worth to house the spirit in my heart. I desire to be a servant of the Master, I want to be a worthy daughter of God that Heavenly Father will trust to bring his sons and daughters to this Earth. I desire that I will remain true to my testimony and act upon my beliefs so that I may one day enter into the sacred walls of the temple, where I might kneel across an altar and be sealed to my eternal companion for time and all eternity so that we together might more fully serve our God. I desire to have the humility to see and recognize the hand of God in all things. I desire to serve my God not only during my Earthly probation but in the eternities to come. I desire to have strength to withstand the whirlwinds of this world and come out a better person having learned the principles that the Lord would want me to learn. I desire to be a mother that will, with her husband, raise a family in the fullness of the gospel, teaching them of their Savior's love for them and the power of the priesthood that their father will hold. I desire to have the patience to fulfill all things in the Lord's time. I desire to have the faith to continuously trust the Lord and follow his eaxample to return to my Father in Heaven. I desire that I will one day return to the presence of my Heavenly Father and be welcomed home with open arms. I desire that I will forever dwell in the presence of my God with my husband and all my children, and I hope and pray that I will receive wisdom to make the choices minute by minute and hour by hour that will lead me to my Heavenly Father. I desire to have a relationship with my Savior, to speak to him daily and learn to turn to him before any one else so that I might more fully understand the work and the mysteries of God that he would have me know. I pray that I will continually keep  these desires in my heart and strive daily to draw closer to my Heavenly Father so that I  may one day look back and realize that I have fulfilled my dreams and have become the daughter my Father would have me be.

3 Nephi 13:20-21
" But Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

My Deepest Fear

Tonight was quite an interesting night full of ups and downs and in the end an amazing lesson to be learned. For quite a while I have felt insecure because of my looks and my weight. Tonight those fears and feelings of being insecure rose to the surface once again. I have always tried to work hard, be a kind person, and do the will of my Heavenly Father but so often people do not see that in me, they only see my physical appearance and then dont bother looking down past the surface. Once again I was passed over, I was hurt and I felt like no one understood me. I wondered why..  Why I had prayed for help to lose weight and become beautiful with no answer. Why was it that Heavenly Father would not help me with this one thing I have wanted so much. I have worked for it and have tried so hard to change but it seemed as though all my prayers and pleadings were going unanswered then these words came to my mind and it was as though Heavenly Father had put these words straight into my very soul...
 "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
I am a child of my Heavenly Father and I am exactly who he wants me to be. He made me this way for some reason I do not know, but do I need to know? No. I am a brilliant, gorgeous, and talented daughter of God. I will no longer shrink, I will stand and shine because I am who I am meant to be, and being me is wonderful. My deepest fear is no longer that  I am inadequate... My deepest fear is that I am powerful beyond measure. Heavenly Father has many lessons for each of us to learn daily. He truly does LOVE us and does what is best. He knows the power we have the potential of yielding. He puts us in places where we can grow and become future rulers in his kindgom. He knows that we are powerful beyond measure.

Your Not Alone

"WHEN YOU SAW ONLY ONE SET OF FOOTPRINTS, IT WAS THEN THAT I CARRIED YOU"

Today my mother came to Logan to visit and look at apartments with me for next fall. We looked at a few apartments but none of them really felt right to me. The more we looked the more I began to realize that it wasn't the apartments that I wasn't liking, it was the feeling of having to start over again. Two of my roommates are moving to an apartment that I know isn't right for me at this time so I'm going off on my own once again. As we looked I felt lonely and quite scared. I began to think about my Heavenly Father and wondering why his plan for me was different than my own. I started to begin to wonder if he was listening to my prayers and if he knew what I wanted. But like so many times before when I begin to doubt and feel like he is not listening to me, the powerful, calm voice inside my head whispers to me and tells me that he is there and that he cares. I conveyed my feeling to my Mother who always has some wonderful words of advice to bring comfort.  I told her how I felt I was drawing away from my Father in Heaven, even though I was trying my hardest to grow closer to him. My mom pointed out the fact that just because we are doing the right things does not guarantee that we will be immediately rewarded, in reality most of the the time our blessings come much later. Heavenly Father has is own plan and we need to align our will with his and realize that we aren't alone, I am not alone and I am not the only one that has a plan for myself. In fact, I'm positive that Heavenly Father has a plan for me that can take me places I could never imagine without him. My Heavenly Father loves me, I am his daughter and he will watch over me. He does not leave us alone he will always be there all you must do to see him is simply bring your knees to the ground and I promise he will be there.